New year's resolutions

6:41 PM

It's so easy to write a list but it's so hard to cross it all out, isn't it? I remember, at school, the first assignment after winter break would be an essay on your new year's resolutions. What's so great about writing down all the things you have planned for the new year, all the big projects and brilliant fresh ideas, when you end up doing close to none? At least that's what my classmates would complain about. Not me, though. No, I was always that overly excited student ready to write three pages on these so called resolutions. See, at least my classmates were realistic, whereas I would aim for the sun and trip over before taking off. Naive? I'm 21, middle school is long gone and I still haven't decided if it's a good or a bad thing to set up a list of goals and plans for yourself. I'm sure it works for some people. The kind of some people that live orderly lives, pay bills right on time and never miss a day to walk the dog. A golden retriever, most likely. You know those people? The kind you see so comically portrayed in diet cereal boxes and brush their teeth three times a day, no matter what. And this is what I always wanted to achieve, to become one of those people. I guess it doesn't work with people like me. Oh, but they do exist. My mother, for starters. A friend that I secretly despised (yes, exactly because she was too perfect, I mean, unsettling perfect). The headmaster at school and a thousand others. Dont' get me wrong, there's nothing bad about being that kind of person or my kind of person, but it's like we speak different languages, isn't it? That friend's new year's resolution list would be so clean and empty. "Pray a rosary every night", "be more generous", "donate to the poor". My god, what a boring life. I mean, sorry, to each their own. But they didn't seem to have much to strive for, besides keeping their clean, pretty, orderly routine. My lists would look something like, "Write three books", "Make best friends", "Learn Japanese". Well, if you're wondering no, I never achieved any of those. Oh, but let's not forget, because I clearly did, the kind of people that just want to get the assignment done and do nothing for the rest of the day. "Get new haircut", "Buy authentic Chanel", "Be happy". Yeah, they'd add that last one to make the teacher happy and feel like she just read something very personal, even though she didn't. At least this kind of people would get everything on their list done. The first kind as well, probably. Not me, not my kind of people. We don't start low and stay low, we don't start above average and stay above average either. We're low and we jump. We try to reach as far as we can and we take a mouthful of fresh air with a wide smile. And we fall. I'm the kind of people that falls. We're usually too broken to try a second time. If we're lucky enough, we do. Then the story repeats. I'm not trying to be pessimistic, it's only the way I am. I have motivation. I've met her, she's quite a treasure, but she's hard to catch. When we're together, I feel unstoppable. She makes me fall in love with her, of course, only to abandon me. But, like I said, I've always been a little too naive. So, this year? Oh, I have quite a few plans for this year. You'll see. It might just be my year. 
And you?

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