Lost love and what to do with it.

6:40 PM


This one hurts like a bitch; and acts like one. I hadn't realize its existence until it, on its own, claimed its name. Lost love. I had always told myself I would never let love escape me. Never. I had always been resolute to chase after the one I loved and win their heart back. I had always known I wouldn't be too prideful or too frighten to keep chasing it. When I want something, I make sure I get it. But I didn't realize, it just, it doesn't only depend on me. That's when love is lost. And it's not just hanging from your hand and his, or hers. We like to say love can do it all. Love is the cure. Love the answer. Love through it all... that's naivety. Not all loves can survive "this" and "that". Life and what not. My first one, my first lost love, wasn't love at all. One-sided. Derailed. Senseless. A love where I'd never hurt her and she'd never look at me without getting hurt. A discrepancy in gender. A mistake. Second one didn't come for a long time. I thought I had mastered the art and wouldn't let it happen again. I guess ten years are not enough to learn. This time I didn't know what it was. I didn't know what I had within the reach of my hands. I took it for a coincidence, then it turned into a series of coincidences, then, a sin. Bad timing. All the wrong words and silences. And so, before I knew it, I had lost a love I hadn't had the chance to taste. It's inevitable, that's what is true. Lost love cannot be avoided. Maybe by death, maybe by human error, it'll occur. But, hey, we can get lucky enough to catch it once. Then we press it hard against our chest and tie it around our neck. We celebrate this with a wedding. But really, what are we supposed to do with lost love? The idea of it, its memories, the unspoken words and the feelings frozen as if time had stopped? Hide it, throw it away, give it away, swallow it whole. It is your choice as it was mine. I decide to keep it. It's my own little secret. My own little fairytale. My own little treasure. 

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2 comments

  1. I'm recently dealing with such "lost love". I should rather say, I'm dealing with it since February 2014.
    It was a wonderful relationship and I thought, if I put enough effort into it, this love could lost forever. But it did not, and she broke up with me.
    I still don't know why exactly it had to turn out like it did, but the point it: I lost this love. No matter how much I fought or struggled to get her back, it didn't work.
    Now, after quite a time, I'm still captured in this situation with her. It got really complicated and I'm just too tired.
    I think, I'm too tired to work on this lost love again. Just treating it like a loss could really help maybe. I don't think it's healthy to claim on something that hurt you that much as in my case for example. I had to visit the hospital twice, it was quite the disaster.
    So hopefully I learned my lesson.
    When love is on the binge of getting lost, you should fight.
    But if it is lost for good, you should burn your feelings or your physical and mental health sickens.
    Well, this is my experience and my advice.
    Hopefully you're doing good

    xoxo
    Nowaki

    ReplyDelete
  2. Amazing text! It really portrays correctly what we all feel at some point in life!

    ReplyDelete

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